


Kindred Spirits

by Le_Bilboquet



Category: Bravely Default (Video Game) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Also you know what I use two writing software and they don't count words the same way, Character Study, Drabble Collection, Gen, In the same state as it is in game, POV First Person, Side Rindea but not really explicit or anything it's just there, So idk at least on ONE of them all drabbles are 100 words, The boys be talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29364936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le_Bilboquet/pseuds/Le_Bilboquet
Summary: Losing your memory is always hard to cope with, and it never comes back quite easily. But despite this stroke of bad luck, there is a peculiar ray of light to my situation, compared to others... If he is willing to cooperate, that is.
Relationships: Alternis Dim & Ringabel
Kudos: 7





	Kindred Spirits

**Author's Note:**

> Written in the form of a serie of drabbles (100 words each) as a self-imposed challenge, I hope the format isn't too jarring.

Forgetting came with a lot of upsides. Freedom was the main one: you weren’t bound to anything, to anywhere, to anyone. Starting everything anew and exploring your potential any way you so choose? Not being upheld by any hurtful word, or unfortunate circumstances, by mistakes, losses and childhood fears? Many, he’d discovered, would’ve killed for such an opportunity, for such a deliverance. You could choose to be someone else entirely, you could go anywhere, you could meet anyone.

Although, forgetting had its downsides too: you weren’t bound to anything, to anywhere or anyone.

That thought kept me awake at night.

*

I did not like the man, and from what I could gather, there wasn’t really anything likable about him. But at least, he was someone. He had a job, he had subordinates, if not friends. He had a family. This alone probably made him worth something.

“Good evening!”

“I don’t want to see you.” The tone was hostile.

“I don’t really want to see you either.”

The man stared me down for a moment, but only received his own defying gaze in return. He didn't close the door. Finally, he sighed and got out of the way.

*

The room was dark and cold, like his owner: a bed, curtains, some weapons, a desk. Boring, of the kind that didn’t inspire anything. How fitting.

“It’s three in the morning, what do you want?”

“To remember.” I said, letting myself fall on the covers. I closed my eyes, it didn’t smell of anything.

“Didn’t you get your memory back already?” He asked, quietly.

I opened my eyes again. “Most of it, yes. But I’m missing details.” Details, I had found to be much more important than I’d ever thought. People only really existed in the details.

*

“So, you have questions for me.” Alternis asked. He was sitting at his desk, rubbing at his eyes.

“No. Honestly, I didn’t expect I’d make it that far.” I had fully expected to get the door slammed in my face; this was just how the man was. I simply felt like I needed to see the room, even from the outside. Maybe it’d spark something, maybe it would feel like home.

But it didn’t feel like anything, and it didn’t spark anything either. The apathy I felt for this room only left a bitter taste on my tongue.

*

“I’m tired, I’d like to sleep.”

“How long have I…” I bit my tongue, “You had this room for?” This wasn’t my room. It might have been, in another life, in another world. But not anymore, I didn’t feel anything familiar about it.

Alternis sighed “I was fifteen. It’s when I joined the Eternian forces. The Grand Marshall—”

“He said I should live on my own, in the soldier aisle.” I completed. “I wanted to stay close to his family to protect them, so he made an exception to put me on the commanders floor.”

I remembered.

*

“Then what do you even need me for?”

“I only just remembered as you mentioned it. It's working.”

Alternis had sounded irritated (when did he not), but I didn’t want to look at him. Looking at yourself in the eyes other than through a mirror was still a freakish experience. At least when the man had had his helm on, in other worlds, I had been able to pretend it was someone, something else behind it. But unfortunately for me, it seemed as the Dark Knight had really been planning on going to sleep.

I should have, too.

*

“Where did you get this painting?” I asked him as my eyes fell on the wall adjacent to the bed. There hung a majestic canvas representing the Grand Marshall, his wife and daughter.

It took a moment for Alternis to answer, and his voice felt strangely tight as he did so.

“I painted it.”

“What?” I said as I jumped to my feet, approaching the painting to take a closer look. “You… I can paint?”

“Did you forget?” he inquired in a peculiar tone. If I didn't know him, I’d have sworn the man sounded amused.

*

“I know I can sketch. I saw it in your-- in _my_ journal, the old one. I practiced again recently: I think I have gotten most of my skills back by now, but…” I added more quietly, “I didn’t know I could _paint_.”

Why had I never even tried? I had simply assumed my talent at picking colors came from my fashion sense, but maybe…

“I learned how to sketch by learning how to paint, actually.” Alternis had also gotten off his chair and walked closer. “This was part of the lessons the Grand Marshall paid for me.”

*

“Hm? What’s that?” My eyes were drawn to the painted Edea’s hair where the paint had cracked as if put near a heat source. Something like deception, frustration spiked in my guts. The painting was so lovely otherwise…

“That’s… Well,” Alternis was scrambling for his words, sounding as upset as he felt. “I came second to a fencing competition that day. I was angry, and I tried to paint to calm down, but I lost control of my magic for a moment, and—”

I cringed. Yes, I remembered it now.

“This was my second loss that day.”

*

“I remember I was so upset about it back then. I had planned to give it to the Grand Marshall for the anniversary of the Duchy, so I couldn’t even tell him. He scolded me because he thought I was simply sour about the competition!”

I couldn’t stop talking as the memories flooded back in, making sense of them. This was exhilarating.

“Then Barras sat me down until I confessed everything, and he stayed with me for several nights to keep me company as I started from scratch again.”

“That’s… That is correct, yes” Alternis stuttered, surprised.

*

“So, are there more secret talents I don't know about myself?” I hummed next.

Alternis thought for a few seconds. “Well, unless you count the accordion...”

“No.” I cut him immediately. “You're kidding me. I play music too?” And the _accordion_? Thinking back on it, I did remember in Florem one time I stopped to listen to that lady playing, Edea scolded me but at the time, I hadn't even noticed the beauty playing. It just felt... familiar.

“Well... Yes and no. I wouldn't call it a 'talent' really, I've gotten classes. I know a few melodies.”

*

“I can't believe this. If I had known earlier, I could've wooed ladies so much easier.”

“Is that really all you care about?” Alternis raised an eyebrow. “Music is not only for flirting, you know. A lot of things aren't.”

“Fine, fine, but tell me then, have you ever played for someone? Does anyone know you play accordion?” I didn't wait for an answer, I expected it anyway. I simply shrugged. “Seems like a waste of talent to me.”

Alternis didn't reply right away, but when he did, this wasn't the answer I expected.

“I do.”

*

This took me aback. “Pardon me?”

“I do play to people.” Alternis clarified, fixing a point somewhere far from my own eyes. “It's not-- It's not _great_ , but they like it, I think.”

“They?”

“The, ah, people I help around.” Alternis gestured, blushing lightly. “The kids, the seniors, the patients at the central healing tower...”

What a surprise. I didn't remember playing for someone else, I don't think I used to share much with people. Was it a recent development?

I felt somehow... proud of him? What a peculiar feeling. I needed to change the subject quick.

*

“What was my first kiss like?” I finally dropped, looking closely at the other man’s expression. “Ah, you’re blushing!”

“I-I’m not!” Alternis defended, failing to compose himself. “This is none of your business!”

“How so? It’s mine, too.” Unless… I had a terrifying thought. “You didn’t get it recently, did you? It was before I— You know.” I grimaced. I still had trouble with the concept. “I ‘split up’.”

“It… it was, yes…” the man fumbled, embarrassed.

“I knew it! Who was it? No, let me remember it myself! Now this is some premium memory!”

*

“Was it Edea?” Was my first question.

Alternis erupted. “What?! No! I’d never—”

“You would.”

“I—! I would _like_ to, but… this is complicated.” I knew all too well what he meant. Even I wasn’t sure where I stood with her. Now was even more messy, but before all that it had never been simple either. “I just… if it’s meant to happen, I want it to be done the right way. I—the situation has never lent itself to it.”

“I see what you mean— Don’t make this face, it’s complicated for me too, believe me.”

*

“So, was she the hot type, or the cute type?” I grinned, enthralled by the mystery.

“Why does this matter!?”

“My memory is really good at remembering ladies.” I justified, more or less truthfully. “This will surely spark it!”

Alternis groaned, looking away. “She’s… c-cute I suppose.”

I nodded wisely. “Oh, of course, a first kiss has to be cute! Now then, who instigated it?”

“Is it really—"

“Yes this is important. Vital even! I cannot believe I forgot such an important memory, actually! Are we so heartless, Alternis?”

“I didn’t forget! You did!”

*

“She… She was the one who instigated it.” Alternis finally confessed after I apologized.

“Oh? She’s a straightforward one, then.” I whistled.

His eyebrows furrowed in irritation “Don’t you remember it? At all?”

“You sound vexed. Was it so important?” Alternis loved Edea, I was certain there was no romantic feelings lingering for any other woman in his heart. How important could be this mysterious kisser?

“It’s… I… Yes.” He finally dropped as if it took an effort for him to confess. “It is very dear to me.”

I felt jealousy bite at my lonely heart.

*

This felt hardly fair, Alternis had so much I didn’t have. His own room, a job, a country, a family, a life, a world… He could simply look back and know where he came from, where he stood, what he was fighting for. When he was lost and defeated he could remember past victories, and all the people who supported him.

I? had nothing. Most of what my brain had deemed important enough to remember were terrible things, and how I had lost everything.

“I wish I could say this was dear to me, too.” I heard myself retort.

*

“It’s not… It’s not what you think it is.” The man huffed. “Can I tell you now?”

I tried to get a hold of myself, but the bitterness probably gave me a certain edge. Although I knew Alternis wasn’t responsible for my situation, looking at him angered me. “Fine. Who is this beautiful lady I erased from my memory, then?”

“It’s Lady Mazher.”

Oh. Wait, what?

“Wh—” I started, tongue heavy with questions. Mahzer Lee, spouse of the Grand Marshall was our first kiss? How?!

“I told you, it’s not what you think!” Alternis defended, flustered.

*

Alternis sighed as we both sat down.

“When I was little, days after I was brought to Eternia, I fell ill. The doctors said it was simply a cold I caught due to the climate and my physical condition, and that I just needed rest. Even though, Lady Mahzer stayed by my side the whole time.” His cheeks took on a pinkish hue as his voice tightened, and he looked even further away. “I-It was simply kisses on the forehead and hands, but it did mean a lot to me.”

“Because these were… My _first_ kisses.” I remembered.

*

What an idiot. How could I have forgotten this? I’d never forgotten before! Never until that fateful day. Why hadn’t I recovered this memory earlier? Alternis was right, this was important, this was dear to me! I felt so stupid!

But in a way… I felt happy to remember too.

“I’m such an idiot!” I whined out loud as I laid down on the bed, dejected. “I can’t believe I forgot!”

“Yeah.”

I groaned louder. “This is your fault! You knew I wasn’t thinking about _that_ kind of first kiss!”

“But these _were_ my first. You asked.”

*

“I-I never kissed anyone.” Alternis confessed out of the blue. “Not on the lips, I mean. Not in… Not the way you were expecting. Never.”

“What, really?”

This seemed to anger him, but also embarrass him further. “You know how I, ah, feel about Edea. I don’t want to rush anything just for the sake of it. I don’t need to experiment with just anyone.”

“Hm. I know what you mean.” I remembered about this too. Alternis could come across as cold and close-minded, but deep down, he just wanted each of his relationships to be meaningful.

*

“Although I need to confess I… As it turns out,” I felt my own cheeks turn hot this time, looking for the right words. “I did get mine.”

The man raised an eyebrow. “What? With whom?”

“I’m not sure, but this was in Caldisla, I-I don’t remember which one exactly was first?” Alternis groaned as he held his head in his hand. “I was just looking for Edea!” I defended. “I thought that with my looks, there was no way it was my first kiss!” And well, kissing did feel nice, so this hadn’t been a bad idea.

*

“I wanted to keep myself pure for Edea!” Alternis said, outraged. “How could you give yourself to someone you didn’t even care to remember!?”

“Well, you still are?! I’m the one who kissed them not you! Besides, it’s just a kiss, Edea won’t mind.” She probably suspected it already, to be honest.

“Now, there is a woman, no, _women_ , in Caldis, in my world, who technically experienced my lips!”

“Not only in Caldis actually.”

Alternis let out a pathetic growl, as he shook his head in his hands.

“I’m sure Edea won’t mind”, I repeated.

*

I saw Alternis repress what I assumed was a scream. “Whatever.” He groaned instead, “I knew my reputation was ruined already.”

“If anything, I have enhanced it. They said I was a talented kisser.”

“Shut up. Just… shut up.”

“But, you shouldn’t sell yourself short.” I couldn’t help myself but add. “People have been talking about you, Alternis Dim, the Knight who’s been travelling around, helping the needy… To tell you the truth, I’m jealous. I saved the world by a stroke of luck, but barely anyone knows the details. But you, you built your own legend.”

*

Alternis coughed, blushing, as if the very words pained him: “Thank you. I try.”

“You’re welcome.” Oh that was awkward indeed. I didn’t know what to say either, and so we stayed there in silence for a little longer, but I found out it wasn’t as uncomfortable and charged as before. Were we becoming… friends? I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Eventually, a thought crept up in my mind, and so I spoke again, “Why ‘Alternis Dim’?”

“Excuse-me?”

“Your… ‘Our’ Name.” I clarified. “I don’t remember anything about my parents. Where did it come from?”

*

“Oh. That’s… The Grand Marshall choose the name, actually.”

“Did he?”

“I never… really needed a name before. People just had nicknames for me.”

I knew that. I had never been considered human, let alone an equal, in Florem, more like a pest. You don’t name a street rat. Until you realize he has powers, that is, and he start hurting people like he’s been hurt. Then you call him monster, or demon, to warn the rest of your kind.

“Although he told me I started answering to it very quickly, in a matter of weeks.”

*

“Did he just choose one randomly?”

“No, actually…” Alternis had to stop there to take a deep breath. His mouth started acting up on its own, and he raised his hand to hide it. Even so, there was an unmistakable spark in his eyes. “He said that’s the name they’d have picked up for a— If they’d had had a— y-you know.” He finally deflected, flustered.

Oh. Now I couldn’t help but smile, too. Even with the hand, I was pretty sure our expressions matched in that moment. As well as that feeling taking over me.

True happiness.

*

“But then…” I asked after we both collected ourselves from our giddiness. “Why Dim?” Back then, I’d have given anything to be a Lee (although now I realized this would’ve complicated the matter further with Edea.)

“I wondered too.” Alternis coughed, forcing his smile away. “I looked into it, and it turns out there was an Eternian family with that name, once living in Gravemark-- before it was called Gravemark.”

A… Dim family? In Gravemark? This was the Grand Marshal and Miss Mahzer’s…!

“The Lee’s hometown.” Alternis said as if he read my mind-- maybe he could.

*

“This… “family” was but one man, however.” Alternis continued. “A retired knight teaching fencing arts in Gravemark.”

“You mean…?”

“Yes. He was the Grand Marshal and Sir Kamiizumi’s master.”

“I never knew he had one— Although come to think of it I should’ve expected it.” Both Braev and Kamiizumi were master fencers, someone had to have taught them, the basics at least. To be named after such a man…

“It's a great honor, to bear this name.” Alternis voiced my own thoughts out loud again. “To think Lord Marshal would think so highly of me…!”

*

“But we don’t know him, do we?” I cut awkwardly.

“Well, no, but… I'd rather bear the name of a stranger than...”

“That’s understandable.” I cut. “And I’m proud to bear this name as well.”

Alternis didn’t reply immediately. “Is it still your name?” Faced with my incredulity, Alternis had no choice but to justify himself. “I mean… Aren’t you going differently now?”

“Oh. Well, I suppose I am. Not by choice, mind you; my friends just got used to it first.”

And I just didn’t know any better for the longest part of my journey.

*

“So...” Alternis say after a few seconds of reflection. “Do you think you will ever go back to it?”

“I don't know, I'm not sure. I'd like to, but that's complicated. Especially since Edea...”

“You would like to?” Alternis seemed genuinely surprised, and confused.

“Is that surprising?” I raised an eyebrow. “This is the name I went under since I was like, eight. Not that I had one before, too. Sometimes I need to catch myself to not respond to it.”

“I thought you wanted to leave that 'you' behind.” Alternis said, quietly, almost shamefully.

*

I snickered. “If I did, I wouldn't be there tonight.” Alternis nodded. “Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm ever going to go back to how it was before. I'm not sure who I even am, right now.”

“Hm...”

“It feels as if... To everyone this old 'me' never existed. I mean, of course, you did,” I quickly justified, “But, that's it: _you_. They never saw me from before, everyone who knew the old me is now... well. It feels like all my past just... vanished without a trace. It's sometimes hard to remember it ever happened.”

*

“Not even to Edea?” Alternis finally said, awkwardly.

I couldn't help but wince. “Edea is... a complicated matter. I'm not sure where she's standing right now, it's... I think she's avoiding the subject.”

“Is she? Why?”

“You know why.” I shot him a knowing glance. Alternis blushed.

“What? I don’t understand.”

I sighed. “She’s known you for basically all her life, and I’m just so… different now. She can’t reconcile the both of us in her mind”

“Oh.”

“And also…” The words leaked out of my mouth too fast. I stopped myself. Too late.

*

”And also?” Oh, of course he’d heard.

“It’s nothing. Do not worry.” I quickly replied. Way too quick.

Alternis’ brows furrowed. “It is my business to know. Why does she sees us differently? I need to know how she sees me—us, I mean. Please.” He really sounded like he did.

I bit my own lips. Great, now what? I had to spill the beans, now, didn't I.

This was awkward. But Alternis had to have figured that one out by now, didn’t he? It’s not like we had spent much time together but… ah well, here came nothing.

*

“Well, she…” I started. “You know.” I fought hard to keep my mouth from smiling but it was too strong. I could only hope Alternis would forgive me. “ She caught feeling for me. And you… Don’t get me wrong she does love you! I’ve seen just how much she cares and worry for you. It’s just... different. At least for now. I think she doesn’t quite know herself, maybe she—”

“It’s alright.” Alternis cut me. “I know. It’s fine.” He seemed… a lot more serene than I thought he would be, although he did avert his eyes.

*

We stayed in comfortable silence for a few more moments, enough for me to ask myself again if we were maybe... developping something? What bond could this even be, could you be friends with yourself? Did I see Alternis as myself? I wasn't sure, but maybe I did.

To me, Alternis felt somehow familiar. Like a mirror to the past, like the last link I had to something I left and wasn’t quite sure I wanted back.

I stretched out and I got up. Thanked him. My mind was full of thoughts now, I decided I needed to be alone.

*

“Wait, Ringabel?” Alternis stopped me as he returned to his desk, rummaging through his drawers he took a few books out of. “These are my old painting books, you can have them if you want. If you wish to paint again.”

“Oh, it’s fine. Like sketching, it should come back with practice. Have any paint?”

“I do, you can come pick them tomorrow. I haven’t had time to paint in forever.”

“Maybe we could paint together then. You can help me catch up to you.”

“I think I’d like that. Good night.”

“Good night.”


End file.
